Parenting, self-care and beyond
Recently, I've been talking with my prenatal mammas about the importance of self-care and also keeping your girlfriends or friends in general in your life as they embark on parenthood. Most are first time moms-to-be.
As a mother of three grown sons, I've experienced how powerful this asana is. Over the years I've seen so many women and some men lose themselves in raising their children. Our children are really only "on loan" to us from Spirit to raise for a short 18 years or so.
Some lose themselves so much that when their children leave for college they feel completely lost and depressed.
So we need to keep the focus on ourselves as well or we may forget who we really are down the road. A spiritual being who came to have a human experience, not just to be a parent!
We can get so easily dragged into keeping up with the "Joneses" or worse, compare our children to others. Each soul has come for its own journey. Let's let them have THEIR journey and you yours, instead of projecting our stuff onto them.
As my children were growing up and certainly now, I can see what 3 different souls they are. It's been so beautiful to witness them finding their dharma (path in life) all on their own. That's when a human being will stand firmly in their Truth and will be passionate about their work.
Your dharma is what YOU came here to do in this incarnation.
I love assisting the new mammas with "dropping off their baggage" through mantra, yoga and meditation, so they don't unload it on their children. What a concept!
Whether we're taking time for exercise, relaxation, meditation, reading, eating healthy, getting a massage or a trip with our partner or friends, we are modeling the best parenting possible. We are giving our children the most precious GIFT ever: teaching them how important SELF-CARE is through our actions.
Actions always speak louder than words.
I was raised in an era where self-care was oddly skewed and viewed as selfish. These are old, old generational patterns that were passed down through the Piscean Age. This was an age of only accessing the mind not the heart or a spiritual connection.
Many are still suffering with the powerful disease of co-dependency from this deep sub-conscious patterning. I see many adults trapped in this unhealthy pattern from childhood.
We fall down a deep hole of giving up our power and light, and then find ourselves (if we're even lucky enough to see it) in everyone else's business. Unsuccessfully trying to fix, manipulate and manage other's lives while completely losing ourselves. Ouch.
We can only be as loving, patient, compassionate, supportive and healthy with our behavior and with others in our family, community and at work if we take care of ourselves first. They were right when they said, "Put your oxygen mask on first," and stay in your own "hula hoop!"
Then if someone asks for my advice or help then I can be happy to be of service in a much more healthy way.
So when my kids were younger and I had a sign on my home office door: "Please come back later; I'm meditating," it was the best gift I ever gave them. I modeled a mom who was healing her baggage and a mom who could be much more present, loving and accepting of herSelf and of others.