Healing in Families
If you let something go and it's meant to be, it will come back to you is how the saying goes. I recently received a phone call from my sister who's a few years older than I am and with whom I shared a bedroom for most of my childhood.
I know a phone call doesn't sound special, but it was the most precious gift. I had thought I had really lost her for the last time a few months back.
Her soul has always been on a path of inquiry and struggle with relationships within the family. And this is ok! Although it was sad for me at times to have her and then to lose her from time to time, I always accepted she was on HER own journey, not mine.
I was never surprised by different things she went through. I did too from time to time. It's how we grow.
Knowing that family relationships can be the best and the hardest at times, I accepted her flow although others were really hurt by her decisions.
Oddly, lately I had been thinking about her a lot. I know I was picking up on her, "feeling" her.
I'd been having some regrets, wishing I had called more, written more, visited more. I had no excuses except for the usual: "I was too busy, running a family, a business and....... actually, nothing really." She disconnected, and so did I.
I feel SO grateful for this re-connection and I vowed to my soul last night to stay more in touch. I will call her every few weeks and she said she was actually going to come and visit down the road. It made me cry.
She has always avoided travel but recently, my sister moved somewhat closer and she sees the ability to now come. We grew up outside of Philadelphia. She left for Vermont; me for Michigan. Although I've been out East a lot over the years and have seen her occasionally, she hasn't been to Michigan since 1985.
As families, we have contracts to be together. Sometimes the hardest contracts of all our relationships. If we can do our healing work and get past all our ego-based struggles with other family members, we can have many more years of LOVE and acceptance with each other instead of the typical judgement, criticism and resentments. Our family relationships are our ultimate exercises to see how strong our "yoga program" really is.
Many believe if we come from the same parents, we should be alike. No, there were clearly four very different souls among me and my siblings. All of us unique and beautiful children of God. Nothing less.
None of us have the perfect parents or families for that matter. And this buzzword: "I came from a dysfunctional family" - Who didn't? Do we really think there is a perfect family? Seriously? Our families are exactly what we chose to learn our lessons from and resolve our karmas with.
It's so helpful to learn this fact. But when we do, we can then see the bigger picture or divine plan at hand. We chose to be with these souls for further learning along our path of evolution. We choose who will help us grow the fastest and learn the most with. Is it always comfortable? No, and that's the point.
Most of us are on the Path of The Householder so we chose to have relationships, jobs and live in society. The monk's path is one of loss or renunciation.
The householder was given an incredible gift to evolve faster! We are constantly given exercise after exercise to grow and learn from!
Hopefully we will show up for the learning, growing and evolving!