"Fitting in"...Do I Have To?

November 4, 2013
Katherine Austin Wooley


Probably a question we ponder from a young age.  Exactly, what IS fitting in?  Who defines that, anyway?  No doubt, we can get mixed messages as kids and then we end up not really knowing what fitting in means, whether we want to or with whom.

Many of us grow up thinking we're never good enough, pretty enough, strong enough, or smart enough.  We think this because we are told we HAVE to "fit" in.

While we are in school, some of us struggle with academics because we are really right-brainers, creatives, trying to find our way.  Standard schooling doesn't work for every person; the left-brainers sail on through because for them, it's easy, a "no-brainer."

A common message is "what will the neighbors think?" or YOU are supposed to follow the societal path and go to college, get a 9-to-5 job, buy a house in suburbia and have a family.  Then you're "ok."

Says who? What is normal?  Based on the ego or the soul?

Our souls have a destiny.  The question is, will we find it?  Will we listen and not be afraid to authentically step into it?  Not be afraid of what others think? Not be afraid to hear its call and follow what we know to be our Truth, no matter what?

Most of our world is what I would call "mainstream" society.  Sure, the majority of people do work 9-to-5 jobs because our society created that structure, so we could sustain an economy.  We've been raised with this illusion that working these hours is what is expected of us and while important, it's not for everyone.  

Family, magazines, media and the mainstream do not have to dictate our destiny.  When we follow someone else's destiny, someone else's perfect path, we end up medicating in many ways - eating disorders, co-dependency, and other ailments that mask what we are truly feeling and who we are at the core. They are illusions to feeling better and they actually just stall our evolution even more.

We are here for a bigger purpose.  To share our gifts and talents, full steam ahead, with no FEAR.

Many of us ignore the heart's calling until it typically rears its head in the form of a mid-life crisis if we're lucky.  And I mean lucky.  If we're lucky enough to get taken down to our knees, we might have an awakening where we can't go back to who we used to be.

For most of my life, I kept my light dim enough to try and "fit in." I was afraid to dress the way I really wanted to, afraid to say what I was feeling, afraid to FULLY step into the career I was in.  I didn't know what "emotional" self-care was. Period.  It was exhausting to live that double life.

It always came back to: "Would people like me if I stepped into my authentic self?" I was taught as a young girl to look for approval outside of myself.

1)  I had to approve of myself first  and then, 2) I had to have the courage to change.

I could feel my destiny knocking hard on my door, but it would mean completely letting go of what I knew, some family, some friends, some unhealthy behaviors and even my home at the time.  My root chakra would have to get blown to pieces and put back together another way.

To no longer look outside of myself for approval. To just fully be me.  And OMG possibly wear a turban! (Well, that was many steps down the road of course...)

Some mothers get up and put on their business suits and sit at a desk. Some like me get up way before the sun rises, take cold showers, sit at their altar, chant, do yoga, meditate and even have a gong in the house. As long as you're in your Truth, it's all good.

It's ok not to "fit in" because what's fitting in anyway?  Fitting in is about everyone else.  Not you.

It's such an illusion and super hard to live up to, by the way! We can love ourselves just the way we are. We "fit in" perfectly to God's plan. We are fabulous and always on the verge of our next excellent layer!  We are good enough.

What a powerful message we can model to our children and the youth of today.  Loving ourselves.

Let's do this.

Sat Nam




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